Pity Me Tuesday post...

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Okay, so I've totally got the Tuesday blues today. Reason number one? Kiddo issues. Reason number two? Book issues. Reason number three? A combo of both? Does that count?

So...what I've decided to do to make myself feel a little better was post a little excerpt of the book I've been querying for...five months now. 

I'm not entirely sure if that's a normal amount of time or what. All I know is that I am DYING to share Xavier and Dani's story with you all. So if this is the way I can do it, then so be it! Who knows if this is even something I SHOULD do. And who knows if this story will ever see the light of day either. But I do believe that letting readers into the head of Xavier will make me feel better in the end. Strange, I know...but I never claimed to be normal.

Here's a little about my main squeeze, X. 
<----------- (That's my X inspiration by the way in case you  were wondering. And yes, I am entirely too cheap to buy it right now, just so you know.)

Number one? He's a complete and utter a-hole. Readers are going to hate him...heck, I hate him. But there is also something about X that makes me want to hug him. Maybe it's because the chip on his shoulder is entirely excusable (well, not entirely, but pretty close.) You see, X is a wrestler...with an eating disorder caused by his need to make weight for his team. That's only the beginning of his story though. And I'm hoping I'll be able to share it all with anyone who wants to read about it someday. But for now, I'll let you have a sneak peek into his mindset, especially when it comes to his biggest enemy, Dani Parker...

Note: this is entirely unedited by a professional so if it's rough, don't judge. :) 

Xavier: 

Arms locked at his sides, he turned to glare down at her again. What. In the hell. Was that sound?

“What’s wrong, Xavier?” His heart echoed louder in his ears at the concern in her voice.

Something was happening to him. Something...different. These emotions—terrifying and unexpected—made him feel impossible things. Amazing and unexpected and un–fucking–believable things.

“Holy shit.” He pressed a hand to this throat, trying to combat the sudden dryness.

She moved forward, pressing her fingers against his shoulder. “What’s wrong?” Glasses and all, she was so damn cute he couldn’t take it.

He shook his head, glancing up at the clouds. This was so messed up, so not him. He needed more sleep, right? That was it. Had to be.

“Stay here.” He growled, raising his hand out in front of him to drop Scrapper’s chain into her hand.

Confusion covered her face and annoyance sounded in her words. “What? You can’t tell me what to—”

“Yes. I think I can.” He gripped her upper arms lightly, needing her to get it. To understand. To let him step away for the sake of his sanity—and his dick too.

A small gasp fell from her mouth and her eyes widened to a size that was earth shattering as she gazed up at him. No, dammit she had to stop reacting to his touch like that. Maybe he just needed to stop touching her altogether. Yeah, that was it. No more touching…but that’s what he did, right? Touched girls…flirted?

He shook his head, stepping back and running a hand through his hair. Dammit her. Why, after five years, did he want to take her back into his house, tie her to his bed, and have his wicked way with her? One freaking bout of giggles was not going to change his life, dammit.

“Xavier, you’re acting crazy.” She nibbled on her lower lip, drawing his attention to the perfection that was her mouth.

He blinked, his breathing increasing yet again. Had it ever slowed? He didn’t know.  Fuck a duck, though, one thing was for certain. He wanted those lips, attached to his. Again.


***

And there you have it. The boy who not everyone will understand. I know I love him, but that's not the point. The point is, I write books to maintain my own sanity, and sometimes I sort of forget that. With a bad review, or a bad morning with my three crazy little girls, I need to remind myself that not every day is rosy and rainbows. Not every day will be crap either. But you know what? If I'm going  to take a pity me day, then that's entirely acceptable too. Try it! I know I'll be there to hug you if it does. :)